So… a week and a half until this whole thing starts, and I am so excited, yet I feel a bit like sand is running through my fingers. I get one thing done at the sacrifice of another… and no one is saying yes! It’s so discouraging!
I have to tip my hat to Dusty and Company for getting Lifebread this far, it could not have been easy. I always like the sound of “saving the world”, but I suppose it gets harder the closer it gets to reality, right?
On Wednesday, I learned about the Rwandan Genocide in my African Politics class. We watched a documentary, and I sat there in the dark, crying. 800,000 people in 100 days. I was wiping my nose on my sleeve and looking around. I was the only one crying. Just me. I was torn between feeling like a baby and feeling like the only grown-up in the room. I couldn’t decide. I knew, sitting there, that I can’t sit around, as cliché as that sounds.
God set me up to go to Africa. I keep repeating that to myself as things get harder. I was not going to go to chapel the night Dusty spoke. My boyfriend Ross and I walked in twenty minutes late, just as Dusty got up to speak. As he mentioned the ten students going to Africa, I got up and left. I gathered my red floor-length summer dress and walked up the amphitheater stairs. I heard Ross’s footsteps behind me, and I cried as I put my head on his shoulder. There I was, at the most beautiful school in the country with the whole world at my feet, and I was miserable. We sat there until chapel let out. There was a warm breeze that night, it seemed to carry an electricity with it as everyone poured out of the double doors. I stood at the top of the steps and watched. Dusty and Cecily were the last ones to leave the building.
“Do you want to go to Africa?” I heard Ross’s voice behind me.
“That’s crazy,” I said, because its what characters say in the movies when they are thinking about it.
He told me to go down and talk to Dusty and Cecily. I resisted, telling him I would email them later… which is code for “uhhh….”.
“Go.”
I ran down the steps, and the wind picked up. After all that pseudo-dialogue, I actually had a movie-worthy moment. Until I got down the steps and didn’t remember their names.
It all worked out though, didn’t it? I’m the intern… right where God wanted me. He provided the desire, the money, and an emergency stash of passion to get me through the rough patches… and it’s a weird feeling, knowing that your life is about to change.
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